This blog was originally conceived with at least SOME influence from my efforts (and Mr. Matt’s) to get in shape so it’s fitting that from time to time I would a) actually do something that might get me in shape and b) actually post it to the blog. Clearly that’s been a lot to ask. I would say that I haven’t REALLY done anything that resembled regular exercise since the Hank Aaron 5K. The irony is that we thought that might finally be a good time to kick this thing off, you know, since we’d put it off all summer for almost no reason.
Right, anyhow, so no working out… I basically hadn’t been to the gym since March although I guess I can make some excuses: busy with baby preparations, other physical activities in the summer, just plain laziness…okay so I could only come up with three and they’re pretty weak. We had started running shortly after my son was born and went at that enthusiastically enough for it to become an actual reason to not go to the gym. The running stopped after the 5K. I’m not sure exactly why but it just did. I know that when my wife went back to work there was definitely more of a struggle for time. Three weeks went by and somehow I continued to miraculously lose weight. It wasn’t a miraculous AMOUNT of weight, it was just amazing that I could stop exercise, keep eating like crap and suddenly begin losing weight. Go figure. Well, even that tapered off and I knew things were going to get sideways on me if I didn’t start doing SOMETHING. I have a fall volleyball league but 45 minutes once a week isn’t going to cut it. There appeared to be only one solution. In the back of my brain I began to recall that my gym opened at 5am. Normally I am not a morning person. This is largely because I prefer to stay up late, barely get enough sleep to operate and then run around like a lunatic so that I can get to work on time. This technique has served me well for many years. Ok, it hasn’t served me well but I’d been doing it and dammit I was comfortable with how stupid it was. My wife has always tried to talk me into going to bed at the same time as her and I’ve rarely allowed it. I gave in a couple weeks ago and went to bed at 10pm. You know what happened? I woke up, unassisted at 4:30am. I stared at the clock, realized that not only had I woken up 90 minutes early but I could blame my wife, and then promptly went back to sleep. This experience came back to the front of my mind at the same time the gym schedule occurred to me. Hmmm…if I went to bed at 10pm my wife would be happy, I’d wake up in time to go to the gym and nobody would miss me since wife and baby don’t usually see me before 6am anyway. I bet I could make it to the gym, check that off my list for the day and get to work on time. It would be a perfect way to sneak in my exercise needs without having to give anything up!
It’s true, we’ve finally made it!!!!
Today I moderated our first spam post! It was only the second comment ever posted on the blog but at 50% spam, doesn’t that validate us as a real blog site?! It was all Russian and shit and it went on and on for paragraphs. Come to think of it I didn’t even bother translating it…maybe it was all like “hey you crazy Americans are awesome!” and “I want to give you mad Rubles!” or even, “hey, I’m trapped in some psycho torturers dungeon and this is the only web page I could get access to! Please send the police…AAARRRGGHHHH!”
Heh…that would suck.
Candy Crush Saga. It must be crushed; no saga required.
Have you ever seen the Matrix? That scene where agent Smith is telling Morpheus that he feels like human beings are a virus? Candy Crush Saga is a virus. I swear to fucking god this thing started out as “Mafia Wars 2010 requests” annoying and has become a flipping pandemic. I now receive a request once a day from multiple friends. That, was almost tolerable because I understand that facebook has to make money somehow and that will always be by annoying us just shy of making us leave or by creating creepy ads with pictures from our profile. What has become intolerable is that it now seems almost every site I visit on my phone has a magic CCS pop-up which swoops in forcing me to repeatedly press the back button and miss the point of what ever trashy gossip link I was following. Maybe I’m exaggerating…maybe…maybe CCS isn’t the problem, maybe I’m the problem. Maybe if I would just try it out I would really enjoy it, I mean if everyone else is playing it…I…I should join them, right?! Hah hehe, bwahaha…yes, YES, yEs…hoooo…joooooiiiiiiinnnnn themmmmmmmmmmm…
We’re Sorry
We’re sorry for the following reasons:
1) We came up with the idea for this blog…
2) We came up with the idea for this blog when we first decided to start getting into shape. Then we started posting after we stopped getting in shape! Not that we got real far in the first place.
3) We are sorry that this one single post has taken us like 20 minutes to write at this point.
4) This would be going better if Matt would stop playing with his damn busted ass phone and offer some suggestions.
5) We’re sorry that we needed to notify you of our blog so that we could inflict this upon you.
6) We’re sorry that you will probably expect some kind of regular updates further obligating us to provide content even though we’d rather be eating pizza and blowing shit up on the PS3/360/etc.
Thank you for taking the time to uh…whatever.
What is this all about?
Not too long ago we had an idea for a website. Wait, maybe it was more like a decade ago. Since then we’ve come up with numerous other ideas and always managed to smother them with a seven layer burrito of excuses and laziness. This process probably involved a number of actual seven layer burritos from Taco Bell and two liter bottles of Mountain Dew. Far more recently I decided that I needed to stumble my way through the process of creating a website and drag my best friend with me. So why would this time be different?
What?!
Really? Is this any way to start a blog?