I’m not saying that this happened today…I’m just saying that it happens an awful lot.
Hey, I’ll just play this game for a little while so I can relax! No big deal! Except that then you find yourself trying to squeeze in shit you were supposed to be doing when you should really be in bed so you can get some sleep before your 6AM meeting. SHIT.
Thanks for keeping me entertained friends, and fuck you for helping me screw myself out of much needed sleep.
I am writing this under duress. Duress that I placed upon myself. I publicly promised (sort of) to post M-W-F. I am writing this while I’m supposed to be hanging out with my friend. Wait a second…the friend that I’m hanging out with is ALSO supposed to be writing this blog. My friend is a DICK! This is called TWO fat losers, not ONE fat loser. Hey, if you ever consider relying on your best friend to post to a blog you agreed to post to…just forget it. If you consider relying on him to bring you a delicious Arby’s sandwich and curly fries since he’s going to Arby’s anyway…well that might actually work out.
My plan is to post something, anything until I establish a rhythm. It will be like forcing inspiration through my old play-doh playmaker, squishing out whatever bizarre shape the plastic extrusion template of fate has prepared for me.
I started going through and scanning some old photos into a digital format so I can put some order to them. It’s incredibly time consuming but it is funny how these memories that were so important at one point are dependent on the photos to jar them loose. Even then sometimes I’m not certain if I’m actually remembering something or just manufacturing a memory to fit the photo. In some cases the photos appear so abstract from my other memories; it’s as if instead of capturing an event the image were staged.
Sweet dreams.
There’s an old saying that goes, “he who would post to blogs must do so pretty frequently or people just won’t give a shit.” I believe that there may be wisdom in these words. My brother recently asked me what the theme of the blog was, what the purpose was, what the plan was. I didn’t have a very good answer. It certainly seemed like a reasonable question. I mean, we generally are drawn to a blog or website for some purpose, right? I might go to XKCD, Questionable Content or Oglaf, because I want a laugh. I might go to a fitness blog because I want to share my struggles or learn new techniques or gawk at chicks with big muscles. Ok…I probably won’t be found on a fitness blog, at least not a normal one. In any case it helps motivate my viewers if there’s a purpose, right? It should also help motivate ME in the writing! Shouldn’t it be easier to write if I know what my voice is, what the point of the whole damn thing is?
Well, guess what. I’m not really sure what the point is. I spent years talking about starting a website with my friends while we tried to hash out all of the details. Nothing ever happened. I recently learned that sometimes you just have to force activity. Wait, scratch that. I advised other people a long time ago, creative types, artists if you insist, that they needed to force the creation of things and not wait for inspiration. I thought that the momentum would build and eventually you would find yourself more inspired, more creative, more successful. It seems logical enough. When I say that I “recently learned” I mean, that I saw it in practice recently some where and internalized it. What I am trying to do right now is to stop waiting for that perfect idea or perfect plan and just create some kind of commotion. I thought this might be a fun silly fitness blog or just a blog about two guys that like to eat like crap and play video games but right now it’s just a way for me to force some activity out of myself. I mean, I like to post to facebook and all but sometimes you want to write a four hundred and forty one word diatribe right before you go to bed! With that I leave you but I promise that my intent going forward is to update no less than Monday, Wednesday and Friday every week, even if it is only to present you with a list of my favorite brands of underwear.
So in the event that you haven’t abandoned all hope that I might continue posting (I almost had) here is the quasi-continuation of part 1 of this post. I not only had a hard time maintaining the 5am work out schedule I apparently am almost incapable of posting to my own blog. “THERE’S JUST NO TIME IN THE DAY!” one might decree, but I know better. I’ve wasted plenty of time here and there doing something useless (I’m not prepared to argue that this activity doesn’t fall under the same heading so don’t even bring it up). In any case the 5am workout schedule held for about a week. The very next week I was forced to come to the realization that I needed to schedule a work project with a twice a week 6am start time. This effectively made those days a no go for the gym. “Well,” you might ask “what about the other three days?” “Screw you guys for asking” is what I would say. I don’t have a good excuse other than it screwed up my rhythm some how and that was all it took to de-rail me. Also getting up at 4:30 really sucks since I have a lot more familiarity with crawling into bed at that time.
The 5am workouts still fit into my schedule better than anything else. The unlikely prospect of both getting out of work early enough to make it to the gym before having to make my daycare pick-up AND having the motivation to do so limits my options. Now that I think about it, a month from now the kid will be old enough to take advantage of the gym’s daycare so that would give me some additional options.
That’s all you get tonight. I have to go suck down a chicken sandwich, fries, root beer and a cheeseburger so I can maintain my aggressive metabolism. Beefcake, BEEFCAKE!
For your viewing enjoyment, our first spam post! Apparently when you set it to spam it doesn’t actually delete it, it just quarantines it, so you can, you know, unleash it like a bio-weapon at any time.
Сегодня 01.10.2013 открылся новый проект Просто Лайт!!!
Подробная информация и регистрация: http://light.prosto50.ru/?ref=schemer
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Нет лимита продаж уровней. Очень удобная короткая матрица и стоимость уровней ниже, что позволяет быстро и легко
заработать много денег!!!Стоимость уровней:
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“What you say?”
This blog was originally conceived with at least SOME influence from my efforts (and Mr. Matt’s) to get in shape so it’s fitting that from time to time I would a) actually do something that might get me in shape and b) actually post it to the blog. Clearly that’s been a lot to ask. I would say that I haven’t REALLY done anything that resembled regular exercise since the Hank Aaron 5K. The irony is that we thought that might finally be a good time to kick this thing off, you know, since we’d put it off all summer for almost no reason.
Right, anyhow, so no working out… I basically hadn’t been to the gym since March although I guess I can make some excuses: busy with baby preparations, other physical activities in the summer, just plain laziness…okay so I could only come up with three and they’re pretty weak. We had started running shortly after my son was born and went at that enthusiastically enough for it to become an actual reason to not go to the gym. The running stopped after the 5K. I’m not sure exactly why but it just did. I know that when my wife went back to work there was definitely more of a struggle for time. Three weeks went by and somehow I continued to miraculously lose weight. It wasn’t a miraculous AMOUNT of weight, it was just amazing that I could stop exercise, keep eating like crap and suddenly begin losing weight. Go figure. Well, even that tapered off and I knew things were going to get sideways on me if I didn’t start doing SOMETHING. I have a fall volleyball league but 45 minutes once a week isn’t going to cut it. There appeared to be only one solution. In the back of my brain I began to recall that my gym opened at 5am. Normally I am not a morning person. This is largely because I prefer to stay up late, barely get enough sleep to operate and then run around like a lunatic so that I can get to work on time. This technique has served me well for many years. Ok, it hasn’t served me well but I’d been doing it and dammit I was comfortable with how stupid it was. My wife has always tried to talk me into going to bed at the same time as her and I’ve rarely allowed it. I gave in a couple weeks ago and went to bed at 10pm. You know what happened? I woke up, unassisted at 4:30am. I stared at the clock, realized that not only had I woken up 90 minutes early but I could blame my wife, and then promptly went back to sleep. This experience came back to the front of my mind at the same time the gym schedule occurred to me. Hmmm…if I went to bed at 10pm my wife would be happy, I’d wake up in time to go to the gym and nobody would miss me since wife and baby don’t usually see me before 6am anyway. I bet I could make it to the gym, check that off my list for the day and get to work on time. It would be a perfect way to sneak in my exercise needs without having to give anything up!
Today I moderated our first spam post! It was only the second comment ever posted on the blog but at 50% spam, doesn’t that validate us as a real blog site?! It was all Russian and shit and it went on and on for paragraphs. Come to think of it I didn’t even bother translating it…maybe it was all like “hey you crazy Americans are awesome!” and “I want to give you mad Rubles!” or even, “hey, I’m trapped in some psycho torturers dungeon and this is the only web page I could get access to! Please send the police…AAARRRGGHHHH!”
Heh…that would suck.
Have you ever seen the Matrix? That scene where agent Smith is telling Morpheus that he feels like human beings are a virus? Candy Crush Saga is a virus. I swear to fucking god this thing started out as “Mafia Wars 2010 requests” annoying and has become a flipping pandemic. I now receive a request once a day from multiple friends. That, was almost tolerable because I understand that facebook has to make money somehow and that will always be by annoying us just shy of making us leave or by creating creepy ads with pictures from our profile. What has become intolerable is that it now seems almost every site I visit on my phone has a magic CCS pop-up which swoops in forcing me to repeatedly press the back button and miss the point of what ever trashy gossip link I was following. Maybe I’m exaggerating…maybe…maybe CCS isn’t the problem, maybe I’m the problem. Maybe if I would just try it out I would really enjoy it, I mean if everyone else is playing it…I…I should join them, right?! Hah hehe, bwahaha…yes, YES, yEs…hoooo…joooooiiiiiiinnnnn themmmmmmmmmmm…
We’re sorry for the following reasons:
1) We came up with the idea for this blog…
2) We came up with the idea for this blog when we first decided to start getting into shape. Then we started posting after we stopped getting in shape! Not that we got real far in the first place.
3) We are sorry that this one single post has taken us like 20 minutes to write at this point.
4) This would be going better if Matt would stop playing with his damn busted ass phone and offer some suggestions.
5) We’re sorry that we needed to notify you of our blog so that we could inflict this upon you.
6) We’re sorry that you will probably expect some kind of regular updates further obligating us to provide content even though we’d rather be eating pizza and blowing shit up on the PS3/360/etc.
Thank you for taking the time to uh…whatever.