248 wtf
Lifted, ran/jog/walked 1.75 miles
It smells like burning rubber farts down here.
I have to start stretching because my back if effed beyond belief.
It’s not from all of the farting.
Monthly Archives: February 2014
2/27/2014 Update
246
Lifted and Ran 1.5 miles.
Went on a date with the girlfriend.
To Outback.
And Target.
To buy underwear.
And socks.
And a belt.
It’s not like I’m some kind of champion of the universe.
…but I did work out on my Bowflex and run on my treadmill.
The usage rate on the home gym hasn’t been exactly flawless. I’m not down there every day lifting for two hours and running 10 miles.
That example seems kind of ridiculous since I’m not even down there lifting for 20 minutes and running 1 mile every day. I’m not on a schedule, I’m not “kicking ass” but I am making steps in the right direction. Tonight I lifted for about 45 minutes and ran 1.5 miles. That isn’t a significant amount of work but there’s a reason that it IS significant.
It’s 45 minutes more lifting and 1.5 miles more running than I would have done if I didn’t have my own gym and I’m pretty happy about that.
I’m keeping it brief tonight since I got a late start and I need my recovery rest…and I have to work early…and a snuggle terrorist is making snuggle demands.
My sad, pathetic attempt to tribute Harold Ramis
Dr. Peter Venkman: Ray has gone bye-bye, Egon… what’ve you got left?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Sorry, Venkman, I’m terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.
Dr. Egon Spengler: There’s something very important I forgot to tell you.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Don’t cross the streams.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?
Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I’m fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, “bad”?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Dr Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Right. That’s bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon
Janine Melnitz: You’re very handy, I can tell. I bet you like to read a lot, too.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Print is dead.
Janine Melnitz: Oh, that’s very fascinating to me. I read a lot myself. Some people think I’m too intellectual but I think it’s a fabulous way to spend your spare time. I also play raquetball. Do you have any hobbies?
Dr. Egon Spengler: I collect spores, molds, and fungus.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Oh good, you’re here!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yeah, what have you got?
Dr. Egon Spengler: This is big, Peter, this is very big. There is definitely something here.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Egon, this reminds me of the time you tried to drill a hole through your head. Remember that?
Dr. Egon Spengler: That would have worked if you hadn’t stopped me
Dr. Egon Spengler: I’m worried, Ray. It’s getting crowded in there and all my data points to something big on the horizon.
Winston Zeddemore: What do you mean, big?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Well, let’s say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning’s sample, it would be a Twinkie… thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.
Ray: You mean you never even had a Slinky?
Egon: We had part of a Slinky. But I straightened it.
Ray: You think there’s a connection between this Vigo character and the… slime?
Egon: Is the atomic weight of cobalt 58.9?
Egon: Let’s see what happens when we take away the puppy.
Ivo Shandor: I am a God!
Dr. Egon Spengler: We eat Gods for breakfast! Dr. Raymond Stantz: We eat gods for breakfast?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Too much you think?
Winston Zeddemore: Whoa. If this place were any more dead, we’d need a coroner.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Egon used to be a licensed coroner.
Winston Zeddemore: No kidding?
Dr. Egon Spengler: It’s just a hobby now.
John Winger: C’mon, it’s Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick ’em up, we zip right out again. We’re not going to Moscow. It’s Czechoslovakia. It’s like going into Wisconsin.
Russell Ziskey: Well I got the shit kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it!
Recruiter: Now, are either of you homosexuals?
John Winger: [John and Russell look at each other] You mean, like, flaming, or…
Recruiter: Well, it’s a standard question we have to ask.
Russell Ziskey: No, we’re not homosexual, but we are *willing to learn*.
John Winger: Yeah, would they send us someplace special?
Recruiter: I guess that’s “no” on both. Now if you could just give Uncle Sam your autograph…
Recruiter: Have you ever been convicted of a felony or a misdemeanor? That’s robbery, rape, car theft, that sort of thing.
John Winger: Convicted? No.
Russell Ziskey: Never convicted.
That’s all I have time for. It’s not much for a man that had a significant impact on me and my sense of humor. I’m sad we’ve lost him but glad we got to know him as well as we did. I hope you’re somewhere in the great beyond crossing the streams, Mr. Ramis.
Feel free to add your favorite quotes from any of his films whether it was spoken by Harold Ramis or not. 🙂
Time management
I have none, so you get this lazy ass post.
This is what the space in my basement was being used for previously.
Actually, that’s probably not an entirely fair representation of this space. It had been cleaned up for a holiday party and it would normally look a lot more hellish. It would look a lot more useless too as the pool table is normally in the middle of the floor. It didn’t get used for anything more than holding food, junk or dust.
Once the pool table, air hockey table and foos ball table were removed, there was room to do something a little more interesting.
So now we have a few options for exercise equipment but if that just isn’t enough…
See, now there’s a TV so we can watch whatever we want. It’s almost like it isn’t even work, right? If we just can’t get enough cardio, the Kinect should provide more opportunities via programs like Nike Kinect or some weird kung fu game demo somebody downloaded.
Ta-da! Now you’re in shape!
Happy V-day to my minions of fat losers.
I simply want to wish you freakish perverts a day of pizza and strippers. A day where V could stand for vagina, Volvo, eviscerate; really any V word that you want. May you find as little pressure as I have to participate in the massively marketed event like so many heart shaped lemmings. Strike out on your own, create new ridiculous holidays and holiday related traditions and then embrace your nonsensical ways because that’s really just like giving your Ego a big hug. Thus endeth my message of good tidings and poorly replicated olde-timey speak! Go yonder and be yourselves!
10 MORE reasons for a home gym – as contributed by the fb crew…you know who you are.
- #11 Easy to get friends/family a guest pass to your home gym.
- #12 Flexible hours of operation
- #13 That disgusting smell isnt someone else for once
- #14 you don’t have to fear anyone hearing your flatulence when lifting heavy weights
- #15 Cops won’t be called if you show up nude
- #16 No outside embarrassment from being a pansy little girly man when you can only do 3 reps of something at child-like weight…
Inner disappointment, however, cannot be helped. - #17 That sweat. The sweat that’s all over the equipment? That is YOUR sweat and if you don’t want to wipe everything down with sanitizer there will be no disapproving glances from pansies afraid of a few germs. Jesus people. Wash your hands before you put them in your mouth and there won’t be a problem!
- #17 Isn’t 17 kind of a reason that the people at your gym want you to go to a home gym?
- #17 Oh… um… Oops I mean, Jesus Christ people! Clean up after yourselves already! Sweat is gross!
Sanitizing every touchable surface of the treadmill actually does drive me nuts though. I mean, come on. - #18 When you have the desire to make lewd comments/fondle/tap that ass of the hottie using the equipment over there, she is your wife and could presumably do all three without repercussions…
- #19(a). You don’t have to look at those 2 dozen people that spend every waking moment at the gym, effectively sucking all your motivation to work out because you could probably never be as “in shape” as that…
#19(b). You don’t have to look at those 2 dozen people that have never been in a gym in their entire lives, effectively sucking all your motivation to work out because you could probably never look that bad… - #20 – gym selfies are less creepy and you are more likely to make an epic fail “look how cool I am/ what I can do” youtube video.
10 reasons a home gym is the way to go
1. No naked old men. I mean, unless…I don’t even want to know.
2. Oh man, I hope nobody is on my equipment when I get back from the bathroom. Hmmm…I’m the only one home so that would truly be weird.
3. I’m starving, I’m only halfway through my workout and I forgot my protein shake at home. Oh no, now I’ll have to go all the way upstairs in-between sets to make one.
4. I hate letting somebody work into my set.
5. That awesome music they play at the gym. I hate it.
6. What the hell are you supposed to do with an infant when you go to the gym? Childcare? As matter of fact we had that but it was only available during peak hours; so it took two hours to work out. Also spending 15 minutes getting packed up, 15 minutes driving and 15 minutes driving back makes for a total of almost 3 hours every time you work out. Good luck doing that more than once a week.
7. I don’t have any excuses left.
8. Can’t find an open treadmill with a TV? How about now you have one with a home theater.
9. No more gym fees.
10. No more getting jerked around when you try to leave the gym e.g. “Let’s see, well, it’s Tuesday so if you cancel today we won’t be able to stop your payments for 3 months.”
Breaking up is hard to do.
I apologize for not posting last week. Life got in the way of this virtual space I promised to invade on a regular basis. There was a lot of turmoil last week as I put to rest a relationship that has given me considerable heartache. Things started off well enough but sometimes, over time, you begin to recognize a relationship for what it really is; a series of overlapping mistakes. Maybe I just didn’t invest enough time in the relationship and that’s clearly where I’m at fault. On the other hand, if there’s no passion, no real interest, no common ground, how would you expect things to continue. That’s why I had to dump my gym.
From now on I’m working out at home. Here are a few reasons why:
- We’ve never been good at going to the gym, even when we had few excuses.
- Trying to pack up an 8 month old to go to the gym during peak business hours is…well…ludicrous.
- Working out at the gym seems to always end up taking 2 hours. I have a workout that I regularly did at home at one point; it took 30 minutes and I was spent.
- Gym memberships
- Drive time
- Changing in the gym next to ten other naked guys who rarely work out.
- Pooping in public
- Shower cooties
- Yet another reason I have to go outside in the winter.
If you don’t find that convincing, it’s probably because I’m too tired to come up with a proper list. Good day.